My Experience With Reality That Leads Me Toward Schizophrenia

 My experience with reality that led to my being diagnosed with Schizophrenia or my mind under Schizophrenia determines things through both a Pronoia lens and a paranoia lens. Under the pronoia lens the universe and reality conspires to make my life better and people are interested in me because they love me and genuinely care about me and everyone I meet is interested in me.

But simultaneously to this pronoia is a paranoia, where I have this belief in my mind where there's always the slightest possibility that everyone I meet or know secretly works for the government and wants to kill me. Though this is not likely, it is a real thought I have with nearly every person that I have to entertain this possibility with everyone wherever I go.

The Paranoia most of the time leads me to think that each person I meet secretly hates me and maybe don't want to kill me so much as control me

This is a little bit funny and a little bit scary and tweaked, but it is alas my experience with this thing as a Targeted Individual diagnosed schizophrenic.

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